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Oh my fucking god guys, it's Tuesday
Tuesday is in full effect
It's too good
Mondays are hard, you're back from the weekend, groggy
But Tuesdays are usually worse, right?
Because you're in the full swing of things
No excuses not to be 100%
Wrong
Tuesday fucking rocks
Best day of the week
Underrated day
Why?
Because ain't shit happening with productivity on a Tuesday
You ever heard of some bad shit happening on a Tuesday
No
Nothing ever
In history
Woke up on time, got too much shit done
Too good
That's why Tuesday is the best day to ever grace this earth
And you're a part of it, so cheer up
What do you want to be sad about?
Who cares that in college you had the opportunity to speak with Bill Nye after a presentation
And you asked him a question about some theories that had just been mathematically proven
That most of the audience didn't understand
So they went "ooooooooo"
And he took offence to it because you took the spotlight off of him
So he ripped you a new asshole
Because you yourself didn't fully understand those theories in front of 50,000 people
Including in-person and on the international live stream
That didn't even happen on a Tuesday, nerd
Because that never would
Because Tuesday is just too good
I love Tuesday
Tuesday are the best part of the week
And the most superior
Better than the weekend, better than Friday
Nothing can compare to Tuesday
The field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals
What the fuck are you doing Red? Call an ambulance
Oh hey, Purple
Black is fucking unconscious, Red
Oh yeah
Call it right fucking now, I'm gonna do CPR
Yeah, I know you and Black do like to kiss each other a lot
Call it right now or there will be someone else unconscious
Jeez, okay then
Yeah, hey White, we've got a bit of a problem here
Yeah, Black's unconscious
Probably because of all those cigarettes
We need you to get here pronto
All right, thanks a lot
But one more thing, I've got to ask
Were you and Green having gay sex that one time?
Oh, he hung up
Hey guys, you wanna see me drink this Tuesday juice?
Absolutely exquisite
I hate femboy Nova
So you know what I'm gonna do
On August 15, I'm going to publicly execute femboy Nova
Just for existing, like the little fucking stupid shit it is
I will do horrible shit to Femboy Nova
I would murder it
I would brutally beat the shit out of it
I would do literally anything to fucking make that shit suffer